Nam Le's DBSK Final fanfic

Four billions six hundred millions year ago, in the universe, there were a planet called Earth

Two billions four hundred million years ago, there were something called organism appeared on the Earth

Then two million four hundred thousand years ago, human finally occurred on the ground

Standing in the middle of vehicle flows, stopping among the crowds surfing in hurry, there are too many people passed me by, but how many of them can remember the person that they just met for few seconds then separate. Somehow, people even cannot remember something that used to be very important to them. When they are unable to keep it, they usually force themselves to forget. And people, who are forgotten? Wondering are they still feeling happy even being forgotten was what they wanted.

Love can bring happiness but it also hurt deeply. But people need it, want it, craving for it. That is how life is going, rights conflicts rights….

Jaejoong and Yunho is a gay couple. They have been together for 8 years, even it is not such a long time but during the whole period, there is always a person who runs and the other following. In that chase, it is so hard to see whether real love exists or not.

Yunho is a very tall and strong handsome guy with small smiling eyes which make him looks like a fool sometimes. His partner, Jaejoong is a pretty boy who always hates his modest height. He also is an inward and thinking-too-much person. Once, a friend asked Yunho and Jaejoong:  “why can you guys come to each other?”

Remembering that time make Yunho cannot stop laughing why Jaejoong is extremely shy then pulling Yunho’s hand for escaping….

-          Jaejoong ahh, tell me. Why did you decide to stay with me?

-          Stop pretending Yunho. It was embarrassing though…

-          Haha isn’t it because of my charm?

-          Sigh, do not forget that you were the one who kept following me everywhere

-          Really???

-          Yessssss, you were really annoying. Coming and expressing your love to me every day. There was no way for me to deny

-          Haha that’s right, but tell me….do you love me now?

-          Stop it, Yunho. Will tell you when we’re home…

-          Don’t Jaejoongie, tell me now

-          No wayyyyyy

-          Stop Jaejoongie. Don’t run

-          Can you accept me please? I really like you… like you so much…

-          Sorry, even I am gay but I do not like you

It was 8 years ago; Jaejoong and Yunho were in same high school class, except sometimes saying hi, they seem to have no involvement to each other. After class, when Yunho enjoys playing football, Jaejoong just only stays in the library for reading. But suddenly one day, Yunho pulled Jaejoong to the school terrace for expressing his love, making Jaejoong turned panicking. The biggest difference between them is Jaejoong who is always careful but indecisive. In his old-thinking, he always assums that the same-sex love is unaccepted in high school so refusing Yunho was the best way. Thought that only one time being refused can make Yunho totally forgetting Jaejoong but he still came again the next day. He did the same thing in the same place and got the same result. One week has 7 days, one month has 31 days, and one year has 365 days, Yunho confesses every single day. Finally, Jaejoong was used to Yunho’s appearance, waiting for him coming every day and he knew that he was really falling in love with this fool.

-          I like you so much, can you become my boyfriend?

-          Hmmm, ok. But I have requirement..

-          I can do whatever you want…

-          This is our secret. You cannot tell anyone about this relationship. Otherwise…..everything will end

-          Deal

Getting the desired answer, Yunho was extremely happy, he could not help him hugging and kissing Jaejoong rolling on the ground many times.

-          How could you be patient to me for that long time?

-          Patient? For what?

-          Your confession….

-          It was my first time; I was extremely nervous and shy….

-          Your first?

-          Yesss

This was Jaejoong’s question after their first bed time, it really surprised him. After such a long time, Jaejoong finally knows that Yunho having one kind of sickness that cannot be treated. Yunho will always forget all the facts that he does not want to remember or face to, it was like all Jaejoong’s refuses before. When facing Yunho’s upset face in the hospital, Jaejoong really wanted to hug him and tell that everything will be fine but he did not do anything as he was afraid of other people’s eyes. He tells himself that tomorrow Yunho cannot remember anything that the doctor said today. That day, the rain fell so hard like crying for Yunho’s sorrow and Jaejoong could only follow him to his house. They started living together from there.

Jaejoong rarely says that he loves Yunho, but his eager boyfriend always says proudly:” Without love, no man can accept the fact that they have to lie under another man’s body then accept things which are not belong to them. So Jaejoong truly loves me”

But somehow, if people can just ignore the truth and living in lies, they will stay away from hurts and sadness…..

The happiness of Yunho and Jaejoong still remains until they graduate from the university; Jaejoong has a very attractive offer which is becoming Marketing director of a local business. About Yunho, as he does not want to work for his family’s company so he decides to keep doing research in the university.

-          Let’s marry Jaejoong ahh…

-          ……

-          Marry me, ok?

-          We…. Aren’t we so good like this?

-          ……

Jaejoong is denying Yunho’s proposal for the first time. But deep inside, Jaejoong knows that Yunho want to give him a true family, a family only for himself, but Jaejoong is just really scared to explore his real sexuality. He thinks that if everyone knows about this, he can lose his current position. As a very timid person, Jaejoong just cannot stand this risk. Knowing that tomorrow Yunho is going to forget everythings, Jaejoong should be happy as he thought. But after seeing Yunho’s smilling face the next day, seeing his boyfriend really forget yesterday’s proposal, Jaejoong suddenly feels depressed. By times pass by, Jaejoong becomes a high-temper person, always wants to treat Yunho sickness. He takes Yunho to every hospital, seeing all the best psychiatrists in town, trying each treatment. Until, Jaejoong just realise that actually he really cares about this man, afraid of losing him.

-          Jaejoong, why do you force me for treatment?

-          ….. Because it is good for you

-          But I do not feel any inconvenience, bad things should be forgotten

-          …..

-          Jaejoong, can’t I drink these bills?

-          No, you have to….

-          Why? They are really useless

-          You want to stay in that world? Always forget and no way to adapt with outside world?

-          I really do not understand you anymore…..

-          It does not matter, you just need to drink all these bills

It is the very first time they argued since they started living together

-          If I change into a person that you don’t want anymore, will you forget me?

-          …..

-          Answer me Yunho…

-          Na, I will never forget you as Jaejoong is the one that I always think about, the one that I want to remember the most….

That night, they hug each other tightly to feel the warm, Yunho keeps whispering next to Jaejoong that he never going to forget this love. This makes Jaejoong tears cannot stop falling down. That year, Jaejoong was twenty four and Yunho was twenty five.

They have lived together for 8 years; everything went good so far except the problem with Yunho’s memories. Jaejoong has got the director position while Yunho has come back to his family’s company. From a very tiny apartment, they now have moved into a big villa, from warming up other each night now turning into sleeping separately. Yunho used to say that they are still in love so deep; it is just because of time making we forget passions.

A too peaceful life cannot stand a big storm, Yunho’s parents suddenly know about the relationship between their son and Jaejoong. They turns so angry and then exploded with an intense argument with Yunho. However, the agreement cannot be unified as Yunho keeps staying next to his boyfriend, ignoring all the things his parents said. One month later, Jaejoong come back home with a depressing face, he was dismissed as many people came to his company and defame his personality and telling colleague that he is gay. His parents also know about this, they are shock then deciding to cut off the relationship with him. Many bad things are coming at the same really break Jaejoong down. Now a workaholic like Jaejoong just stays at home all days, doing nothing turns him into a strange and high-temper person. Jaejoong can suddenly prevent Yunho from going to work, forcing him doing anything Jaejoong want, asking him repeating “I love you” hundreds times per day. Facing his boyfriend’s silly face, Yunho only smiles then follows everything he is told to do.

-          Do you love me?

-          Yes

-          How deep is it?

-          Love you until you do not need me anymore

-          If I never want to let you go?

-          So I will stay right here forever…

-          ….. but if I want you to forget me?

-          ……

-          If…..If….

-          ……Sleep now Jaejoong

-          ….Ok

Because of Yunho scandal, his company stock drops fastly making his parents worried. They have to find and talk to Jaejoong, then asking him to leave Yunho with a huge amount of money, a flight ticket to America in exchange.

-          You will never ever accept right Jaejoong?

Yunho cannot hold his temper, screaming out loud while Jaejoong only keeps silent

-          You love me right? So just forget all these things ok Jaejoong?

-          Love? So funny. Can love bring money?

-          It cannot, but I can. I will give you everything I have

-          But, if you forget me? If one day you love someone else? Will I be starving and lying on the street?

-          No, I will never forget you and you know how much I love you….

-          You love me but you cannot give me all the things I need. I want to be confident, walking on the street with a director-card visit. I want to create my own career, not using your money, your success. Don’t you understand? I am a man too

-          So you accept this money?

-          …..

-          You will give up, won’t you?

-          …….

-          Answer me NOW

-          Yunho, don’t force me

-          It’s you who forcing yourself. All is your choice.

-          I….I….

-          Tell me right now. If you want all of these, I can give them all to you. Not from my parents

-          …..

-          Do you need them?

-          Nooooooooooooo, I do not need anything. All I want is you can forget me, everything of us. I want a normal life, just like when you has not come and mixed it up. I am just a man who is craving for a simple family with a woman, having my own children, not a love that get others’ contempt

Looking at Yunho’s face, Jaejoong finally regrets of what he just said but he just cannot fix it anymore. He really hurt his lover, the one who always stays next to him. But this is things that Jaejoong want to tell Yunho long time ago, they are no high school students always dream of a bright future anymore. They all grew up, having future to worry of

-          Yunho, it has been 8 years and I am exhausted. I cannot continue with this anymore. Thought that I can accept these facts but they are really harsh. I have to observe everybody around, always afraid that they can discover that I do not have a girlfriend bur boyfriend. I am not like you; there is no way for me to ignore others’ eyes.

-          …..

-          I am too exhausted now, thought that I could force myself accepting this fact but suddenly your parents came, making me realise the weakness and inferiority inside.

-          Is it my fault by making you like this?

-          …….

-          Is it my love hurting you?

-          ……

-          ……

They both stand there and look at other silently; Yunho can see tear in Jaejoong’s eyes is nearly falling down. He knows that Jaejoong never shows his weakness to anyone, even him…

That day, Jaejoong can only looked at Yunho’s back from the window, seeing him walk away. It was still the man he loves but somehow he can only feel the sadness surrounding him. Long time after, there is a friend knowing about this day, and asking Jaejoong: “Have you ever loved Yunho?”

Jaejoong just only says: “I did, because of loving him, every day I was scared that next day when he wakes up, he would forget me…”

-          So why did you give up?

-          …..

-          …..

-          As love is too deep but tired, then it only hurt each other

-          …..

-          Love of gay is just like a necklace. When it is abandoned by reality, we will be proud of its spark and brilliance, but once the reality comes, the beautiful necklace will turn into a chain tiding up our neck. All we can do is waiting until suffocation as love is strangled by reality….Who will accept this kind of love in this society?

-          ….

-          ….

Three days late, Jaejoong left the city that he has lived for twenty five years with one of Yunho’s clothes. In those three days, Yunho came back home.

Love for Yunho really was engraved on Jaejoong’s heart. But now, all the memories need to be locked and Jaejoong knew that he would not be able to take his Yunho back….

The airplane flew Jaejoong away, leaving behind the sky is torn by himself.

3 years later.

It is still that busy road, busy people leaving in rush, as the requirement of employment, Jaejoong has to come back the city that he lived before. Standing in the crossroad, it is such a strange but familiar feeling. On this road, Jaejoong and Yunho used to look in each other’s eyes, go playing around like children, whisper in others’ ears “ I love you” during winter night.

Used to….

Suddenly a couple run through, by turning head, Jaejoong can see a familiar back of a person that he can never forget….

-          Yunho, it’s Jaejoong

-          Jaejoong?

-          Yea, he used to be your high school friend and…

-          Who is him?

-          Right there….

-          Am I close to him?

-          Yes….

-          Haha, I don’t know. Maybe he already forgot me, if not, why did not he call me back?

-          So you already forgot him too?

-          Haha, yes I did

-          ……

The two persons keep walking away, only Jaejoong stand there, looking at Yunho’s back like a day of many years ago. Then he can only keep laughing….like a silly person

-          Yunho, will you forget me??

-          Na, I won’t, if you can still remember what you said..

-          So do you love me?

-          I do

-          How deep is your love?

-          Loving you so deep until you want me to forget you….

-          If I never let you forget me?

-          So I will keep loving you till death separates us….

 Cars are passing in rush, crowded noise is everywhere, while the wind is blowing small sand grains up….