Have
you ever wonder what it would be like for two superhero's in two
different stories to be together and fighting each other? In this
Fanfiction cross over we see this reality take place.
RATING: PG (Mild Violence)
Goku's new alliance by Allan Laumatia
"Hmmm....",
Goku sighs.
A rumble shakes Goku's stomach as he rub's it.
"Aaaah
so hungry! Chi Chi!! Whens lunch ready? I’m starving!" Glancing over to his home...
"Oh be patient! You should be thankful I've made a start on it!"
"But
Chi Chi! I've been waiting here for the last 2 hours! Common!"
The roof of the house almost lifts off as a plate came flying out hitting Goku's head making him fall sideways.
Goku, recovers and sits straight while rubbing his head.
"Owwwww hey that wasn’t very nice, that hurt!"
A quietness comes over Goku. Something clicks in his head, he felt something peculiar after the plate and
his head had contact. Goku focuses on what seems to be an energy
force from another world. He yells out to Gohan...
"Do you feel that Gohan!?"
"No
dad? I don't feel anything…"
He shows interest as he sneaks outside to join his father.
Chi Chi notices Gohan isn’t doing his homework and steam rises from her head.
"Gohan, do your homework now, don’t you dare think about it! How many times do I have to repeat myself!?"
Chi Chi notices Gohan isn’t doing his homework and steam rises from her head.
"Gohan, do your homework now, don’t you dare think about it! How many times do I have to repeat myself!?"
Gohan sighs... "Okay mum..." With his head down he goes back to his studying.
Goku continues to focus on this energy, it's getting stronger.
"Goku
Lunch is ready!…"
"Wait
Chi Chi! There's something... it doesn’t make sense…"
Chi Chi yells even louder. "Goku!
Lunch is ready!!!!!!"
"Chi
Chi just wait!!" Goku yells with a sound of seriousness.
"Oh
that stupid man, he goes on about me taking ages now he doesn’t even want to
eat?! Grrrrr!!!"
Goku’s eyes widen as he focuses
mentally on this energy. This creature suddenly appears on the other side of the planet.
"What
on earth is that!?" Goku asks himself. "He’s
got undies on the outside of his pants!?"
Goku immediately teleports to its location. He is now standing behind this thing, wearing blue and red. It had an S on its
chest and neatly combed hair.
"What
are you; are you human?" Goku asks.
"I’m Goku, how did you get here?"
"Ah well... This may sound strange, but in my world scientists created an invention that can let humans travel between
worlds. As they didn’t want to risk a life, I decided to go first. I’m much stronger than an average human, so my body
can handle a transfer from one world to another", replied Superman.
Goku looks at Superman with
confusion.
"You, stronger than an average human huh? Hahaha what are you wearing? Your undies…. I can see them baahahahaha!"
A slight grin appears on Superman's face.
Goku walks closer to Superman and flicks the S on his chest, it's as hard as steel.
Goku walks closer to Superman and flicks the S on his chest, it's as hard as steel.
"Wow! How strong are you? I could feel your energy when you were traveling here,
it was faint, it doesn’t seem very strong even where I'm standing."
"Well, you wouldn’t know until you
try me, you don’t look very strong yourself…", Superman replies.
Goku laughs.
"Okay,
how about we start off with a warm up, ill go easy on you", Goku asks.
Goku positions himself.
Superman stands his ground without moving...
Superman stands his ground without moving...
"Hey! Shall we now?" Goku asks whilst he stretches.
Superman looks at Goku.
"Are
you sure you want to? We don’t have to; I don’t want to hurt you", replies
Superman.
Goku laughs, "you hurt me? Don’t be silly"
In a split second Superman is standing directly in front of Goku nose to nose.
Goku, surprised, didn’t realize how fast he is, he immediately jumps back into position as he prepares himself.
"Wow,
you’re fast too, this should be fun", Superman says.
Superman quickly runs towards Goku and
lands a rock solid punch, he goes flying backwards hitting the ground hard.
Superman looks with amazement and confusion.
"How
did you do that? You're golden!"
Goku instantly teleports to
Superman and throws a kick. Superman flies backwards into a large tree
knocking it down. Goku teleports to Superman and attempts a punch, Superman
blocks and uses his red eye beam and blinds Goku.
Now Goku cant see properly as it hit him in the eye.
Now Goku cant see properly as it hit him in the eye.
Superman uses this opportunity to
grab the large broken tree to smash Goku, he goes flying at least 40 yards away.
Goku... now on his knees panting, looks at the ground
with one eye.
"Man he's strong! Alright, time for Super Saiyan 3!"
Goku powers up, the ground shakes
and stones begin floating.
"Wha…
whaa… what is he doing now!" Superman asks while he watches this
transformation.
"Your
hair, you... you look totally different!"
"Alright,
our warm up is over. Its time to fight!" Goku says.
Superman looks up at the sun.
"I'm
gonna need all the energy I can get!" Superman quickly flies skywards towards the sun.
Goku flew up to catch Superman and the fight began!
Punches and kicks flying about.
Each fighter dodging and hitting one another with great power! As the fight continues Goku
notices something.
"You’re
disappearing Superman!?"
They both stop fighting and Superman looks at his hand.
"Oh no!" he says.
"My time here is almost up! I’m transferring back to my world!"
"My time here is almost up! I’m transferring back to my world!"
"Wait! You’ll be of great help to my world. Will you come back to fight with us one day?" Goku asks.
"I will, you have my word." Replies Superman .
And as soon as the fight began it ends,
Superman vanishes.
Goku teleports back home.
"Chi
Chi, im home, is lunch on the table?"
"No
Goku! I forgot to add one thing!"
The End
The End
Thank you for reading, feel free to critic honestly, any feed back is good!
Hey Allan, this was pretty sweet! As I was reading, the whole thing played out in my mind like a dbz episode. Pretty awesome idea for fanfic, and I think you did a real good job capturing both characters, especially how leading up to the fight they're a bit standoffish but still sort've friendly.
ReplyDeleteCouple suggestions, first is to tidy up some of the wording and dialogue. For example, this sentence: "Goku was surprised and didn’t realise how fast he was, Goku immediately flew back into position, preparing himself for a fight." I sometimes think if you use a characters name too much too close together it can stop things from flowing smoothly, so maybe you could do something liiiike: "Goku was surprised and didn’t realise how fast his opponent was, he immediately flew back into position, preparing himself for a fight." or something you know? Seems to flow better.
Is Goku on future earth in your story, or another planet? Im just curious, because Superman would presumably be coming from Earth, so if Goku is on Earth too that might pose a problem. I hate to say it, cause I like the way Goku could feel Superman's power approaching, but where was it approaching from? If they're both on earth, you could use DC's multiverse concept to clear it up, or possibly time travel? Or we could all just pretend I never said that.
Besides that, I like it dude. Stoked on a dragonball z fight that didn't take 30 episodes to complete.
I totally Agree with you on that James! Thank you so much for pointing those out.
ReplyDeleteAs for the time travel or Multi universe. I still haven't gotten my head around that. I was thinking maybe just leave it for the audience to decide, or clear it up and give details. Time travel was an option at first thought so I may use that concept if people continually wonder and want an answer :-)
Thanks again mate!
True bro, the multiverse is pretty insane. But I agree, the idea of leaving it for the audience to decide is pretty cool, considering thats what most crossover comic book authors tend to do. Technical details would probably clutter it up alot aswell, which would take heaps away from the story.
ReplyDeleteI just re-read the part where superman explains how he got there, and the way you worded it leaves it totally open. Especially using the word 'worlds' rather than 'planets', it could mean 'the world of the past' or 'a parallel world' or whatever, so thats pretty sweet, I see what you did there haha. I guess I took it to mean physical planets for some reason, and if an ordinary non-comic nerd read it and interpreted the same they would totally accept that and read on. Sorry Allan I should've paid more attention man, you did an awesome job on that front.
Allan, although I don't know the characters very well, but I did enjoy the story. The characters are vivid and imaginative.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you wrote the beginning and the ending of the story about Goku's lunch. It made me laugh.
Another thing I like is about the pictures, they are matching what you were saying. They give the reader clearer views about what you want predict.
One small thing that I have realized is that most time you used past tense, but some time you changed to present tense. For example:
Goku powers up, the ground shakes and stones begin to float.
Superman uses this opportunity to …
I know you will change it when you re-read it by yourself.
Lastly I have a question: is “teleports" a family name or wrong type?
Thanks.
Joanna
Hey Joanna,
ReplyDeleteI'm unsure where I went wrong with the past and present tense? That sentence you used as an example is all present tense. If it were past tense like you suggest, would it not look more like:
Goku powers up, the ground "shook" and stones begin to float.
Superman "had used" this opportunity to …?
If you could explain further that would be brilliant thanks! :-D
Also teleports is part of the root name "teleportation". It is a clip abbreviation of Teleportation (Which means to tele to another area with ultra speed)
sorry if I am wrong:)I will check with the teacher.
Delete